Agreeing & Disagreeing in Love

Introduction

Last Sunday we started a sermon series on the theme of Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love which is based on a document presented and adopted by the Mennonite Church and General Conference Mennonite Church at the Wichita 95 convention. This statement was developed by Mennonite church leadership for use by Mennonite conferences, congregations and individuals as a biblical foundation and process guidelines for handling disagreement and conflict among Christians using the teaching of Christ as our example.

Mutual satisfaction?

What stood out to me was the 3rd directive which says – “Admit our need and commit ourselves to pray for a mutually satisfactory solution”. I must admit that I struggled with this directive because when we commit ourselves to pray for a mutually satisfactory solution, I felt that we were dictating God on how He should resolve this for us. It made me feel as if I was saying that Lord lets not worry about the truth if it is dividing us, what is more important is that we come to a solution where we are all happy. I felt that we were sacrificing truth for the benefit of mutual satisfaction.

But when I look at this directive in light of Mark 12:30 & 31, I see that there is wisdom in this suggestion. This is where Jesus responds to one of the teachers of the law when He was asked – "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

Mark 12:29-31 (New International Version)
29"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' 31The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. 'There is no commandment greater than these."

Jesus answers clearly that there is no commandment greater than these. It’s very important to keep these two commandments as a reminder when we are in a disagreement or a conflict situation. We may feel strongly about our convictions, we may be very passionate about it, but if that conviction leads us into a conflict with a fellow believer then we need to commit ourselves into prayer before we take any action which may escalate the conflict.

What I have come to understand is that when we believe strongly in some thing as God’s will, we get passionate about it and anything that comes in conflict with that we assume is against God will. What is important here is to understand and remember that we stay within our boundary and treat the person in conflict with love because that is the greatest commandment. We cannot be judgmental and condemn anyone in such a conflict situation. Romans 14, verse 4 says that: -

Romans 14:4 (New International Version)
Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

The truth of the matter is that very often we are wrong in our judgment; we feel that the person in disagreement with us is also against God’s will. But God doesn’t see it that way. You see we look at the actions in the material world which is only a shadow of the more real spiritual world. We are completely unaware of what goes on with the soul. We pass judgment by merely looking at the shadow, God alone can look inside the soul and He says they both do it for the Lord, “who are you to judge”.

Romans 14:5-8 (New International Version)
5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Closing remarks

Ultimately it all ties to who we are as a group and who we claim to be.

Here at WMC we claim that – “We are Brothers and Sisters in witness; Demonstrating God's Love in Jesus Christ by sharing life together and reaching out to others”. Then we have a one-liner vision statement which says – “To be the people of God, Inviting others to know Him”. Last week we also studied our mission statement which is more elaborate and detailed (For details click here and select “About us”). Do you see what ties all these together? The underlying theme in all of these statements is that we want to be the people of God, who love each other and who demonstrate Gods love by doing so. We also demonstrate God’s love by reaching out others but we do this by showing them that we live what we preach.

Also if we look at the wider Mennonite Church, it has in the past few years shifted its focus towards being more missional, the focus has been more on the “outward” in reaching out. This is good, it is what we are called to do but it would be an irony to only focus on the “outward” and let the “inward” disintegrate. When the salt looses its saltiness it is of no use, there will be no outward.

So let us acknowledge that conflict is a normal part of our Church life when passionate people live and work together. Let us acknowledge that God walks with us in conflict and can help us work to unity and maturity if we are open to Him. And finally let us be willing to admit our needs and commit ourselves to prayer for a mutually satisfying solution.

Blessings,

Naveen